I’m back to shed some light on one of the most asinine habits: sniffing cigars through cellophane. We apologize in advance for someone who may have learned this trait by a so-called “connoisseur friend” who brought you into the cigar game. This is not targeted at you starters.  We all know who this is for…and you somehow think you can savor the essence of a fine cigar by snorting it through a plastic barrier. How idiotic!

First, let’s establish a simple fact that even the dimmest should grasp: cellophane is not a conduit of aroma. It’s a barrier. It’s designed to keep the cigar protected and fresh, not to tantalize your olfactory senses. When you lift that cellophane-wrapped cigar to your nose and inhale deeply, you’re essentially huffing plastic. Do you enjoy the scent of chemical polymers? Is that what gets you excited? Because you’re certainly not smelling the rich, earthy, complex notes of tobacco, I assure you.

Let’s dive deeper into this absurd ritual. Imagine this: you’re handed a gourmet meal, a feast for the senses, but instead of savoring the aromas wafting from the plate, you decide to go shove your face into cling film. How utterly moronic! You wouldn’t dream of doing that, would you? And yet, here you are, with a smug look on your face, sniffing cellophane like it’s going out of style.

And oh, the excuses you make! “It gives me a sense of the cigar’s quality,” you say. “It’s a part of the experience,” you claim. Really? Let me enlighten you: the only thing you’re experiencing is the depth of your own foolishness. The true aroma of a cigar can only be appreciated when it’s free from its cellophane prison. Until then, you’re just playing make-believe, a child pretending to understand the world of adults.

Now, let’s consider the optics. Picture this: you’re in a nice cigar lounge, probably trying to impress. You receive a cigar and, in a move that you believe oozes sophistication, you bring it—cellophane and all—to your nose. The knowledgeable smokers around you know what you clearly don’t: you’ve just announced to the room that you’re a pretentious amateur, a fool masquerading as a connoisseur.

But hey, don’t let me stop you. Continue your ritual. Embrace your ignorance. After all, it’s entertaining for those of us who get to watch. Your stupidity is our sport.

In conclusion, if you truly wish to appreciate a cigar, remove the cellophane.  Until then, you’re just another fool stumbling through life with the cellophane-wrapped stench of your own stupidity.